A bit of an unusual post for this blog, but these thoughts
were chasing me for some time.
There is a lot of talk and some actions as well on
strengthening the employment in the private sector, enhancing the SMEs,
creating an Omani labour force that will play a major role in the
sustainability of a non-oil economy. This is all good and encouraging. There is
one aspect thought, that - in my view - will have a massive impact on the future of the
country and that is parenting. Education
and pedagogy as an activity carries a major paradox that of trying to prepare
kids for the future, a future that is unknown for the educators
themselves. Parenting is somewhat
similar. We are all trying to educate
our kids for their 20s, 30s 40s and beyond; not really knowing what will be
challenges they will face in 10, 20 or 30 years time.
One thing for sure, we as parents have a window of 10 to 14
years when we can set the grounds for the development of their
personalities. After that the high
school friends, the sports club buddies, coaches, often the boarding school
teachers abroad, or the street ‘gangs’ themselves are the educators with most
of the influence. All we can do is follow the events and give an opinion
eventually try to intervene when things go off track, or we think they do. In some cases we are very vocal in expressing
our opinion in some others we try to be more persuasive given explanations and
examples, but no matter what we think, our teenage kids will still consider it just
an opinion. The last time I remember really taking away my parents advice I was
around 10-12. But is not just our
communication with the kids, and the pieces of wisdom we want them to remember,
it’s the whole experience of home, spending time with Mummy or Daddy. Seeing
how they relate to each other, how they solve a conflict (do they solve it of
just swipe it under the carpet), how they encourage their child. The patience
they show and the trust they put in their development. The determination to
curb things that are seen as wrong and the creativity of enforcing the good.
There is a whole range of situational and contextual information that shapes
their personalities and values.
Now this might seem all boring parenting textbook, but here’s
the thing. Most families are heavily
relying on nannies, or even worst, maids that are asked to work as nannies. Now
think of all these aspects above in the context of being raised by a nanny that
unfortunately more often than not is just doing a job. An underpaid, under motivating, often
frustrating job. She cannot behave as a parent for obvious reasons, she is not
a mere baby sitter as a full time nanny, and often times she has her own child
back home. Therefore a whole generation could grow up under a very loose and particular parenting environment. A generation the country will have to rely on.
I don’t really know what is the solution to this, but parenting
in Oman - and everywhere else for that matter - definitely needs more investment. Investment from the scarcest resource 21st
century people have: time.
